Updated: Dec 2, 2021
I’m sure, you’ve heard about self-care and how important it is to your overall health and wellbeing. Scientists share more and more data each day about the benefits and how self-care activities can boost your mental health, prevent development of life-threatening illnesses and enhance your longevity. Self-care scores a lot of points. And I dare to say that you want to practice some sort of self-care. You understand the rational reasons behind it. Yet when it comes to taking care of one-self, the rationality goes out of the window, doesn’t it?
And do you know why?
Well then, let’s dive in to find out!
Rationality vs emotions
We, humans, are rational creatures. We make decisions after we argue, rationally, both sides. We put our money on the table when we, rationally, understand the stakes. We make any big moves when, rationally, we can see the results. You may say our lives are driven by our rationality.
But to say the truth, above all, we are emotional creatures. Our emotional brain was developed before our rational brain, so evolutionary speaking our emotions came before our rationality. And you may not notice it each time it happens, but your emotions take over every time there is a sticky situation, and your rational brain shuts down.
So, you may rationally understand that eating nourishing foods is good for you, but if you don’t ‘feel’ it, it will be pretty hard for you to master the motivation to change your eating habits. You may, rationally, understand that the work stress is making your life pretty hard to bear, but if the emotions don’t push you over the edge, you will keep going until you collapse.
It’s a close score but emotions win almost all the time.
You may be wondering what rational or emotional brain has to do with self-care, but before we get into that, let’s talk first.
If your best friend was going through some challenging times, what would you do? I’m sure you would be supportive, caring, and most likely give a few suggestions and advice to make her/him feel better. You would most likely be understanding and compassionate. You would be the best friend, somebody can have. You would be their best champion if your friend decides to make some vital changes in their lives.
How would you talk to your best friend? Would you tell them that they are strong and capable of doing anything they intend to do? Would you motivate them, praise and congratulate them because they deserve the best? I am sure you would!
So why do you trash talk yourself? Why do you talk to yourself like you’re not important and like it doesn’t matter what you feel? How often you told yourself you’re stupid because you did something you didn’t want to do? Or even worse, you didn’t take action on something which was important to you so you called yourself incapable, incompetent and not being able to amount to anything? How many times did you say things to yourself you would not say to a friend?
Why are you being so down on yourself? If you’re not making any progress and you’re not getting the results you want, it is because of the way you talk to yourself. What even worse is, that you’re making yourself feel like you’re not worthed to improve your life, to make yourself laugh more, to have stable relationships, or to feel OK when things are a bit tougher.
Do you know the key component here is trust?
Merriam – Webster dictionary defines ‘trust’ as a person or thing in which confidence is placed. So, now when you looked at the way you talk to yourself, let’s be honest. Do you trust yourself?
Do you trust yourself to take control over the overwhelm, stress, and anxiety in your life? Do you trust yourself to change some habits around your exercise routine or eating behaviours? Do you trust yourself to invest in your health and wellbeing?
Are you placing confidence in yourself that you can make things happen? That you can make changes and stick to them?
Make rational and emotional decision to trust yourself.
Trust yourself with any activity you want to do, with any decisions you want to make. Show yourself that you trust yourself by taking care of you. Build even more trust with giving yourself permission to do nothing. Yes, sit down, drop everything and let yourself do nothing. Don’t occupy your mind with activities, watching TV, scrolling through social media, planning the next day, responding to others. Trust yourself enough to let go and do nothing for a moment. Stay still. Build that trust, that you are capable, competent and that you know what serves you best.
The best self-care you can practice is trusting yourself. The more you trust yourself the better you will talk to yourself. And the more supportive and loving you are to yourself with your words, the more trust you will build. Because you see, how can you trust yourself if you trash talk yourself? To build trust you need to talk to yourself like you’re talking to your best friend. Trust me, on so many levels you are talking to your best friend. Use your rationality and your emotions to make a habit of talking better to yourself and building that trust.
The truth is that the only person who you need to trust is you. And the only person who is trustworthy to you, is you. There isn’t anything out there you need to do to trust yourself. You hold the key to the trust doors. Use that key because the doors you’re about to open, open unlimited opportunities for you. That trust is the biggest motivator, maker, and shaker you will ever need to accomplish your goals, set yourself for success, and create the life you know you’re so capable of having.
So, tell me, how’s your trust in yourself?
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